Friday, January 22, 2010

The Problems

So... I'm wondering what's wrong with my show, there were quite a few bad acts but even the good acts had a few problems. I'm wondering if it was me... like seriously. People who cause problems tend to be surrounded by them.

SO am I to blame for the falling apart of my family. Was I supposed to step in and say to my dad that the cheating was unnecessary. That it would crush my mother and sister, that maybe it would make things much worse. And what about my sister, was I suppose to tell her that an attitude like that would get her into trouble no matter how much of the fav child she was. Or should I have clued my work obsesses mother in on the fact that her wanting to be at work rather than at home would a mother daughter relationship faulty.

What about my friends... was I not there enough. Myabe knowing that I'd do anything for them gave them reason to take advantage. Maybe they knew that becasue I was too nice to say no that they'd always call me first.

And relationships, lets not even get into that. I've always put my heart into a relationship, I mean who wouldn't, whats the point of having a significant other if you're gonna treat em like dirt. Hmmm I'm thinking that like my so-called friends dudes took advantage of the fact that I was nice... and it seems like the word to them is me cursing them. They get all pissy about... well from now on, it's a wrap, don't respect my response, they won't have to... they can all move on. I'd rather be single then compromise who I am.

I blame myself for the miscarriage... I should've taken better care of myself. That's my fault and I have to live with that, and as much as it hurts I know that when I am ready for kids... I will do all I can to do right by them.


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